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GM vs Microsoft
GM vs MICROSOFT
For all of us who feel only the deepest love and affection for the way computers have enhanced our lives, read on. At a recent computer expo (COMDEX), Bill Gates reportedly compared the computer industry with the auto industry and stated, "If GM had kept up with technology like the computer industry has, we would all be driving $25.00 cars that got 1,000 miles to the gallon". In response to Bill's comments, General Motors issued a press release stating: If GM had developed technology like Microsoft, we would all be driving cars with the following characteristics (and I just love this part): 1. For no reason whatsoever, your car would crash twice a day. 2. Every time they repainted the lines in the road, you would have to buy a new car. 3. Occasionally your car would die on the freeway for no reason. You would have to pull over to the side of the road, close all of the windows, shut off the car, restart it, and reopen the windows before you could continue. For some reason you would simply accept this. 4. Occasionally, executing a manoeuvre such as a left turn would cause your car to shut down and refuse to restart, in which case you would have to reinstall the engine. 5. Macintosh would make a car that was powered by the sun, was reliable, five times as fast and twice as easy to drive -- but would run on only five percent of the roads. 6. The oil, water temperature, and alternator warning lights would all be replaced by a single "This Car Has Performed An Illegal Operation" warning light. 7. The airbag system would ask "Are you sure?" before deploying. 8. Occasionally, for no reason whatsoever, your car would lock you out and refuse to let you in until you simultaneously lifted the door handle, turned the key and grabbed hold of the radio antenna. "CTRL/ALT/Delete" 9. Every time a new car was introduced car buyers would have to learn how to drive all over again because none of the controls would operate in the same manner as the old car. 10. You'd have to press the "Start" button to turn the engine off. -- * Daniel www.dromadaire.com/cimetiere/ouonsenva ou www.dromadaire.com/cimetiere/psychologie |
#2
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Ok, that applies to windows 3.0 on a 640 KB machine with static damage.
XP - if it were a car, on the other hand would be nearly 100% burglar proof against all but the very best FBI / KGB sponsored operatives in the world. MS would be proactively supplying automatically installed security updates that would protect against that rare chance that the hand full of car thieves with the latest techniques could break into or steal your car. However, even though this process is automatic, millions of car owners will have their cars stolen each year cos' they don't lock them, leave the keys in the ignition with the engine running. Whats more they have all there wealth sitting on the front seat for all to see. Many will persist in tinkering with the engine, installing bells and whistle along with chrome plated grease nipples all of which will be detrimental to the reliability of the car. In response MS will be updating the car engine (for free again) continuously so that owners can install what they want, have it work 100% first time every time and safe guard the total car perfomance, and will not have to worry about locks, modifications, abuse, failure to service, deliberate crashes at full speed into brick walls and so on. If it were a car... You would be able to get all international TV stations with perfect reception on and endless repertoire of free TV's, stereos, etc along wiht free newspapers delivered to passengers while they rest in absolute air conditioned luxury... You would be instantly able to paint / repaint it in whatever colour scheme you wanted, would have a maximum carrying capacity of now over 20 billion people (minimum), and their luggage. Note the art gallery included will have no admission fee nor would there be any "costs" associated with the hot audio cd / tape libraries people will insist on installing. Need I go on? "cimetière" wrote in message .. . GM vs MICROSOFT For all of us who feel only the deepest love and affection for the way computers have enhanced our lives, read on. At a recent computer expo (COMDEX), Bill Gates reportedly compared the computer industry with the auto industry and stated, "If GM had kept up with technology like the computer industry has, we would all be driving $25.00 cars that got 1,000 miles to the gallon". In response to Bill's comments, General Motors issued a press release stating: If GM had developed technology like Microsoft, we would all be driving cars with the following characteristics (and I just love this part): 1. For no reason whatsoever, your car would crash twice a day. 2. Every time they repainted the lines in the road, you would have to buy a new car. 3. Occasionally your car would die on the freeway for no reason. You would have to pull over to the side of the road, close all of the windows, shut off the car, restart it, and reopen the windows before you could continue. For some reason you would simply accept this. 4. Occasionally, executing a manoeuvre such as a left turn would cause your car to shut down and refuse to restart, in which case you would have to reinstall the engine. 5. Macintosh would make a car that was powered by the sun, was reliable, five times as fast and twice as easy to drive -- but would run on only five percent of the roads. 6. The oil, water temperature, and alternator warning lights would all be replaced by a single "This Car Has Performed An Illegal Operation" warning light. 7. The airbag system would ask "Are you sure?" before deploying. 8. Occasionally, for no reason whatsoever, your car would lock you out and refuse to let you in until you simultaneously lifted the door handle, turned the key and grabbed hold of the radio antenna. "CTRL/ALT/Delete" 9. Every time a new car was introduced car buyers would have to learn how to drive all over again because none of the controls would operate in the same manner as the old car. 10. You'd have to press the "Start" button to turn the engine off. -- * Daniel www.dromadaire.com/cimetiere/ouonsenva ou www.dromadaire.com/cimetiere/psychologie |
#3
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Tim wrote:
Ok, that applies to windows 3.0 on a 640 KB machine with static damage. XP - if it were a car, on the other hand would be nearly 100% burglar proof against all but the very best FBI / KGB sponsored operatives in the world. LOL ! Expecting XP to protect your computer is like expecting a prayer to protect your dick from a skanky ho. What sandy beach has your head been buried in since XP was released ? |
#4
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Well,
I've been to a few really nice beachs recently, but aside from that I am not in the habit of putting my head below ground level - must be a past time of GM owners or something. Realistically, if you keep your system patched, don't go out of your way to download and install spyware, viruses, trojans, backdoors, rats, etc. your system will be quite safe. But alas most people don't and that is the tragedy. An enormous number of people have AV software and enormouse proportion of the installations are broken - license expired yonks ago. I'll stick by what I said about having your wealth on the front seat of a car. XP is exceedingly safer. The average car and even modern ones with strong locks are security holes. I don't trust them ever and never should you. 10 year old kids with no education yet alone any technical skills can get into any car they want. It does take quite some skill to write a worm and even then by far most are so generic that with a moderate amount of patching you will not be infected. Take slammer as an example - the patch had been out for 6 months. As for reliability... XP crash? Invariably hardware fault. Car stall? Car Fault. - Tim "Rob Stow" wrote in message ... Tim wrote: Ok, that applies to windows 3.0 on a 640 KB machine with static damage. XP - if it were a car, on the other hand would be nearly 100% burglar proof against all but the very best FBI / KGB sponsored operatives in the world. LOL ! Expecting XP to protect your computer is like expecting a prayer to protect your dick from a skanky ho. What sandy beach has your head been buried in since XP was released ? |
#5
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Maybe he should have said only explorer.exe crashes....perhaps akin to
having the complete interior of the car getting trashed, then reappear stark white, with none of the amenities you ordered with your car? "Tim" wrote in message ... Well, I've been to a few really nice beachs recently, but aside from that I am not in the habit of putting my head below ground level - must be a past time of GM owners or something. Realistically, if you keep your system patched, don't go out of your way to download and install spyware, viruses, trojans, backdoors, rats, etc. your system will be quite safe. But alas most people don't and that is the tragedy. An enormous number of people have AV software and enormouse proportion of the installations are broken - license expired yonks ago. I'll stick by what I said about having your wealth on the front seat of a car. XP is exceedingly safer. The average car and even modern ones with strong locks are security holes. I don't trust them ever and never should you. 10 year old kids with no education yet alone any technical skills can get into any car they want. It does take quite some skill to write a worm and even then by far most are so generic that with a moderate amount of patching you will not be infected. Take slammer as an example - the patch had been out for 6 months. As for reliability... XP crash? Invariably hardware fault. Car stall? Car Fault. - Tim "Rob Stow" wrote in message ... Tim wrote: Ok, that applies to windows 3.0 on a 640 KB machine with static damage. XP - if it were a car, on the other hand would be nearly 100% burglar proof against all but the very best FBI / KGB sponsored operatives in the world. LOL ! Expecting XP to protect your computer is like expecting a prayer to protect your dick from a skanky ho. What sandy beach has your head been buried in since XP was released ? |
#6
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=|[ Tim's ]|= wrote:
Well, Realistically, if you keep your system patched, don't go out of your way to download and install spyware, viruses, trojans, backdoors, rats, etc. your system will be quite safe. Patches are brought out after the event, sometimes months after new vulnerabilities are reported. This years RPC worms were nothing like as damaging as they could have been, at the same time, the same vulnerabilities could just as easily have been used to completely trash peoples data. Mostly the authors of these new worms and virii which come out are doing everyone a favour, breaking into peoples houses and leaving little notes on the fridge saying 'get your locks fixed' Luckily, my firewall rules have protected my system so far - winxp's default rules didnt though this year, did they? Any windows installation needs to be heavily modified, and expertly administered before its anywhere near secure - I try and be relatively tiresome to hack, I think thats all one can do with windows. But alas most people don't and that is the tragedy. An enormous number of people have AV software and enormouse proportion of the installations are broken - license expired yonks ago. So we need to purchase lots of extra services to secure our machines, thats got to be a big part of the status quo. I'll stick by what I said about having your wealth on the front seat of a car. XP is exceedingly safer. The average car and even modern ones with strong locks are security holes. I don't trust them ever and never should you. 10 year old kids with no education yet alone any technical skills can get into any car they want. It does take quite some skill to write a worm and even then by far most are so generic that with a moderate amount of patching you will not be infected. Take slammer as an example - the patch had been out for 6 months. I just put some of my wealth in an uncrackable encypted file -all my accounts and passes, some card nos. etc. Its totaly secure now, cant be cracked, only prob is - I forgotten its password now :¬/ -- ' gathering moss, andy |
#7
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On Fri, 19 Dec 2003 16:53:32 +1300, "Tim" wrote:
Ok, that applies to windows 3.0 on a 640 KB machine with static damage. XP - if it were a car, on the other hand would be nearly 100% burglar proof against all but the very best FBI / KGB sponsored operatives in the world. MS would be proactively supplying automatically installed security updates that would protect against that rare chance that the hand full of car thieves with the latest techniques could break into or steal your car. However, even though this process is automatic, millions of car owners will have their cars stolen each year cos' they don't lock them, leave the keys in the ignition with the engine running. Whats more they have all there wealth sitting on the front seat for all to see. Many will persist in tinkering with the engine, installing bells and whistle along with chrome plated grease nipples all of which will be detrimental to the reliability of the car. In response MS will be updating the car engine (for free again) continuously so that owners can install what they want, have it work 100% first time every time and safe guard the total car perfomance, and will not have to worry about locks, modifications, abuse, failure to service, deliberate crashes at full speed into brick walls and so on. If it were a car... You would be able to get all international TV stations with perfect reception on and endless repertoire of free TV's, stereos, etc along wiht free newspapers delivered to passengers while they rest in absolute air conditioned luxury... You would be instantly able to paint / repaint it in whatever colour scheme you wanted, would have a maximum carrying capacity of now over 20 billion people (minimum), and their luggage. Note the art gallery included will have no admission fee nor would there be any "costs" associated with the hot audio cd / tape libraries people will insist on installing. Need I go on? I was going to write something like this but it wouldn't have been half as good. Considering the staggering complexity of something like XP, I think it is remarkable that it is as good as it is. |
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