The Politician Picks

While crossing a street one day a US senator is tragically hit by a
truck and dies. His soul arrives at the pearly gates and is met by St.
Peter.

"Welcome to heaven," says St. Peter. "Before you settle in, it seems
there is a problem. We seldom see a high official around these parts, so
we're not sure what to do with you."

"No problem...just let me in," says the senator.

"Well, I'd like to, but I have orders from higher up. What we'll do is
have you spend one day in hell and one in heaven. Then you can choose
where to spend eternity."

"Really, I've made up my mind. I want to be in heaven," says the senator.

"I'm sorry, but we have our rules."

And with that, St. Peter escorts him to the elevator and he goes down,
down, down to hell. The doors open and he finds himself in the middle of
a green golf course. In the distance is a clubhouse and standing in
front of it are friends and other politicians he'd known when they were
all still living

Everyone is very happy and in evening dress. They run to greet him,
shake his hand, and reminisce about the good times they had while
getting rich at the expense of the people. They change into golfing
attire, play a friendly game, and then return to the clubhouse to dine
on lobster and caviar and drink champagne.

Also present is the Devil, who really is a very friendly and nice guy
who has a good time dancing and telling jokes. They are having such a
grand time that before he realizes it, it is time to go.

Everyone gives him a hearty farewell and waves while the elevator rises.

The elevator goes up, up, up, and the door reopens on a waiting St. Peter.

"Now it's time to visit heaven."

So, twenty-four hours pass with the senator joining a group of contented
souls moving from cloud to cloud, playing the harp and singing. They
have a good time and, before he realizes it, his time is up and St.
Peter returns.

"Well, then...you've spent a day in hell and another in heaven. Now
choose your eternity."

The senator reflects for a minute, then he answers, "Well, I would never
have said it before, I mean heaven has been delightful, but I think I
would be better off in hell."

So St. Peter escorts him to the elevator and he goes down, down, down to
hell.

Now the doors of the elevator open and he's in the middle of a barren
land covered with waste and garbage. And fire. It's hot...really hot.

He sees all his friends, dressed in rags, picking up the trash and
putting it in black bags as more trash falls from above. They are making
no real progress.

The Devil comes over to him and puts his arm around his shoulder.

"I don't understand," stammers the senator. "Yesterday I was here and
there was a golf course and clubhouse, and we played a round and ate
lobster and caviar, drank champagne, and danced and had a great time.
Now there's just a wasteland full of garbage and my friends look
miserable. And it's hot...really hot. What happened?"

The Devil smiles and replies, "Yesterday we were campaigning. Today you
voted."

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