View Full Version : Skybuck's (First) Review of Aliens Colonial Marines (for the PC) (and it's reviewers ;) :))

Skybuck Flying[_7_]
February 16th 13, 11:22 AM

After reading all of the negative reviews this game has been
getting/receiving I do feel it's time that I write a little review about it.

Unfortunately I feel I am not completely in the position to write a
full/fair review about it because of two reasons:


1. I played the game on a 7900 gtx 512 mb graphics card which only supports
dx9 and the experience was stuttery, not knowing at the time that my gt 520
would actually play the game butter smooth... the reason for the graphics
card switch was startrek online... I was wondering if maybe this game would
play faster on the old graphics card, I was surprise that it did not really.
I was also very surprised that the GT 520 graphics card plays Aliens
Colonial Marines much better, this is a win for people reading this text,
but first I want to express my amazement about this shocking discovery. So
let's sum it up a little bit:

More interesting techno/stutter/ruin/fix-babble:

The 7900 gtx 512 mb ram costed me 700 euros at the time in 2006, the gt 520
as of late only costed me 79 euros or so... and it plays the game like 1000
to 2000 times better, which is very surprising... why this is the case ? I
have no idea... perhaps the memory system of the gt 520 is faster but that
doesn't make much sense... the 7900 gtx has 70 GB/sec transfer rate. the gt
520 only 12 GB/sec transfer rate or maybe even slower... 4 to 8 GB/sec
transfer rate, it's also th 64 bit version. Perhaps the memory access time
has something to do with... perhaps gddr3 is faster in that regards, however
it makes more sense to assume that it is some kind of
processing/computating/calculation bottleneck on the 7900 gtx... perhaps all
the lightning and shadows are too much for this older card. The point being
it might have ruined my experience a little bit as well as other people
playing on older dx9 hardware. If you experience stutter in the game then it
could very well be that your hardware is too old and does not support
directx 11. There is also one last possibly theory... it could be that this
game actually uses cuda... which is an nvidia-only technology... so if this
game also stutters on the latest ati/amd hardware then we found the smoking
gun ;) So far I am amazed about the processing speed of the gt520 in this
game but more about that later. So to sum it up for this game you simply
need an nvidia/dx11 graphics card which can be bought cheaply... it's well
worth the money... however I must say that seeing a 700 euro card with
superior memory performance be out performed by a 79 euro graphics card
makes me sick to my stomach... and I will probably not be purchasing any
expensive graphics card in the future from nvidia and simply saving my money
to upgrade my cheapest graphics card by a new graphics card whenever that
may be necessary.. none the less I had a huge blast/fun with two 700 euros
costing cards with battlefield 2 so it wasn't completed wasted... also other
games gave me a blast at the time.

Also there is a second reason:

2. I have not really played all multiplayer modes to it's fullest extent
possible... I simply skimmed over these... played them a little bit.. but
perhaps they deserve to be played a little bit more... though having played
a lot of shooters... I kinda know what I like and what I dont like... the
other modes dont interest me as much... for now team deatchmatch seems to be
the most fun... but perhaps I will try to play the other modes later on...
it might or might not grow on me... this game does have some potential to
grow on me... simply because it's the only shooter at this moment that I
think is slightly worth playing my time on so to speak... which already says
a little bit where this review is going... though the game is not fully
statisfactory also more about that later... for now the other modes dont
really feel like it's worth playing my time on... also I am quite bored with
shooters nowadays though I feel this game deserves some comments from a well
experienced shooter player/veteran though I am starting to wonder if I lost
my touch... other people seem to outperform me in the game especially when
it comes to aliens, which kinda annoys and frustrates me a little bit... I
dont know why... perhaps they have a better system or more tactical insight
or more experience with this game already... it's kinda odd, usually I am
number 1, 2 or 3 but with this game I end up frequently being bottom, which
is odd to me, perhaps a lack of effort on my part, and a lack of wanting to
win badly... I have won enough in my life and just want to enjoy the game to
a certain degree and let perhaps other noobs take the cake... I do want to
win and try and do my best but still it's not really happening except for
the rare occasion/exception... perhaps I ll get better at the game...
however it could also indicate some kind of flawless within the game itself
which are definetly present so more about that later and how to hopefully
fix that by the developers.

So with all that information out of the way I shall now tell you what I
think of this game based on my experience with all other alien shooter games
and other shooters in general.

Let me first start with saying that reviewers having played Dead Space 3
**** me off. I have not played Dead Space 3... Dead Space does not really
interest me... quite frankly... it's Dead Space which is boring me to death,
conceptually speaking. I quite frankly hate third person shooters.. it's the
most fokked up concept ever, and a disgrace to the genre. It's fricking
frustrating to watch somebodies back be in the way constantly/all the
time... it's even gayish. The only game which I ever forgave is ghost
busters because that game was damn good for a ghostbuster games, fun and
good graphics.

I am a little bit ****ed off at reviewers who played Dead Space 3, which is
a totally different genre... and then compare it to a shooter game... like
ACM (aliens colonial marines). I suspect that these reviewers have been
biased towards RPGS/THIRD PERSON shooters... and compare it to this game...
which makes absolutely no sense what so ever.

I shall tell you what I want from a shooter: I WANT TO SHOOT SHOOT SHOOT
SHOOT SHOOT AND SHOOT. And I want a LITTLE BIT of STORY.... and just a
little bit of puzzling maybe... but just a little bit.... and I CERTAINTLY
don't want to be playing some kind of roll playing game... and a puzzle
game... or whatever to run around in a maze trying to find my way all the
time... perhaps a little bit... but certainly not to much... and upgrading
weapons like in DEAD SPACE just takes away from the action most of the
time... the interaction with all the items in that game bores the game big
time... I tried to play Dead Space 1 because the music was so nice.... but I
just couldnt get myself to play that game any further... the enemies looked
like walking dead corpses/turds... and just stupid fokked up dolls... it was
sick and it just couldnt entertain or intrigue me.... especially after
reading that the developers look at car accidents for inspiration... I dont
need to see car accidents... I was amuzed by the youtube video of an
exploding baby ! LOL. But I will not play a game just to rott my brain and
get nightmares from that kind of ****... or just play the game just for
those kinds of moments... This is more starting to look like a dead space
review than an aliens review lol.
But I do feel the need to put some REVIEWERS STRAIGHT.

If you REVIEW BOTH KINDS OF GAMES AND COMPARE THEM then you probably suck...
and shouldn't be writing reviews of shooters anyway.
The point being: Just because the word "shooter" is in it doesnt mean that
they are comparable.

I shall spell it out for you one more time: FIRST PERSON <> THIRD PERSON
!!!!!!! (pascal style).

FIRST PERSON != THIRD PERSON !!! (c/java/curley brace style)

There ya go... I've been fair to you... both language styles included for ya
so you can take your pick ! ;) :) =D

Ok now, after this silly bit, back to a little bit more seriousness and
trying to review aliens colonial marines.

So here we go, straight off the bat, perhaps this will be more of a review
of the reviewers, then a review of the game, though I will review that as
well ! ;) :)

Some points the reviewers make are spot on/valid.

The most annoying being:

1. The characters (NPCs is the game-industry-term for them: non playeable
characters) cannot be shot, cannot be hurt, cannot be terminated.

It's easy to call it a mistake without having played the alternative...
which might have been frustrating... but right now... this does feel like
the BIGGEST mistake this game could ever make.

Straight of the bat I started shooting my own teammates out of pure
accidents/fair/reaction speed.... that is how it should have been... this
game should have had many fok ups by me... to make it more impressive,
fighting these aliens off... making it more realistic...

Every bit of realism... has been taking out because of this mostly.... which
gives the game an empty feeling... a sense of uselessness/nonsense/easyness
which it cannot overcome.

Even at the ultimate badass difficulty the NPC will not die... it will not
even get hurt... it might temporaly fall down and not fight but that's it.

2. The squad size is also too small compared to the movies... though later
on the game makes up for this.

3. Another big mistake is the ANNOYING smart gun. This guy O'NEAL which will
probably become the MOST HATED NPC EVER to feature in a game pretty much
MOAWS the grass right in front of your FEET. It's even WORSE... IT'S LIKE A
CHASE IT ALL THE FOKKING TIME... and the FOKKING DOG just keeps running
away... it will RARELY/SOMETIMES stop to give you some breathing room and to
decide your own pace but IT'S FOKKING ANNOYING.

Though sometimes helpfull in the MAZE of the game that it sometimes is...

THE MOAWING of the grass is a reference to the FOKKING SMARTGUN... this
"FOKKIG BAD-ASS" O'Neal pretty much does YOUR JOB the WHOLE GAME ! ;) :) It
will pretty much shoot EVERY FOKKING ALIEN... with some exceptations here
and there... and when YOU MOST NEED THIS FOKKER... he is stuck in the TUNNEL

This GUY ruins the game in such a BIG WAY I almost want to commit SUICIDE to
have experienced SUCH A **** OF A TURD OF A GAME... THIS IS NOT A GAME....

I imagine that MANY LAZY BUMS... in hollywood perhaps... or just random...
none-real-gamers... might enjoy this a lot... if you are just there to enjoy
the story... and not have to work at it... then you will find this game just
THIS ONEAL FOKKER... that I just didnt care about playing the game seriously
anymore... I just let him clean up all those ALIENS... I kinda enjoyed... I
guess I just got sick of the aliens anyway... and was a bit glad that ONEAL
was there to clean the **** up... otherwise I would have just continued the
next day... at least this allowed me to finish the game in record breaking
time... and finish it in one day... (on a stuttery machine!) which could
explain the claimed short play time of just 5 hours... This reminds me of
"AIM BOTS" in call of duty 4, which would CLEAN THE HOUSE... I would be
running around having NOBODY to shoot in the multiplayer, because there was
1 or more cheaters on the team, SHOOTING/KILLING all enemies.... by the time
I got there... all the enemies were DEAD.
This is called: "game-spoiling"... (spel bederf in dutch).

Aliens Colonial Marines EXCELLS at game spoiling... it's pretty
frustrating... it's ALMOST AS IF SOMEBODY DID IT ON PURPOSE... perhaps it
was REVENGE from the developers...

learn for the publishers... DONT **** OFF YOUR DEVELOPERS. I HAVE READ
stories about not enough DEVELOPMENT TIME for the final bunch... and
switching development teams, BLABLABLABLABLABLA.... In the end I dont care
so much and I will explain later why.

But first on with the review.

4. Apperently there is a bug... which prevents shooting through doors ? This
makes ultimately bad ass really hard to play as far as I can tell ?! perhaps
this difficulty mode is too hard.. I died pretty easy... though on guy on
youtube or some other guys claim that it's easy finishable... I dont really
believe that... or maybe I have lost my touch... whatever, point being this
could be a nasty bug... which is claimed to be solved already... not sure if
it was solved in my case... might have to investigate further... it s a
small little issue but worth mentioning.

Now on to bigger things.

Let's go on with something else which is very important the multiplayer and
MORE SABOTAGE OF GAME DEVELOPERS, which is pretty obvious.

5. NO TEAM DAMAGE... again a MAJOR OMMISION in this game... WHY IS IT NOT

All great shooters have this options... some people prefer it on... some
prefer it off. It could have made a hell lot of fun.

6. Aliens can kill marines real easy with 1 swing... then again for me it s
super hard to do... it's a very inconsitent experience.

7. The third person view of the aliens is FOKKING frustrating... you will
never really know for sure if you are TRUELY in range... to do a MELEE
attack.. it's just very hard to see... another valid nail in the grave of
third person gaming. AVP2 was way better because it was in first person mode
and not third person though again it was optional, in this game as far as I
can tell it was not.

8. The firing modes of the aliens are also very bad and frustrating... it
takes multiple seconds to perform a jumping action... it's just utterly
weird... and badly implemented... can't really tell where you are going to
jump or how far... it makes very little sense.. and the delay time takes
away from the action... none the less perhaps with some practicing it might
become better.

9. Information about the alien weapons during play is not available... I
find this somewhat frustrating... I do not really understand the alien
weapons/specialities... there is no in game menu to access this
information... it's only available after the game is over... in the load out
menu... for some reason I cannot remember this information... perhaps it's
just me getting older.. or the alien weapons make little sense to me... it's
a bit much information to remember... having some in game info would be
nice... I am pretty sure avp2 had this information... actually I know it for
sure... it's a fact.

10. Having to switch to LAN all the time to find a multiplayer game on the
lan is a slight annoyance which could have been avoided if it was all
integrated into one big menu... one possible reason against this could be so
that the gui remains scalable to smaller screens... though it does seem as
if the screen was large enough to contain more information...

Thus the multiplayer menus are unnecessarly deep. It could and should have
been more consolidated/integrated, it s a small minor thing which can be
corrected with patches me thinks but ok.

11. Another big ommission is a usuable console... it seems to be disabled..
it also displays a chat message ?! I wonder why this is ? Is this perhaps to
prevent console cheats ? Or other forms of graphical cheats ? It s a
plausible theory... none the less it's pretty fricking annoying and
stupid... it won't take long for a determined hacker to find a way around
this little coding trick I am pretty sure about that.. unless they ripped
out the whole console code which doesnt really seem likely, since the
configs seem full with key binds and other console commands. The reason for
this frustration is the missing SHOWFPS command... I pretty much always want
to know what my FPS is in a game, frames per second... because this is
pretty much ineviteable with todays hardware requirements... I'd like to
know if my PC is up to snuff for whatever game/shooter. Showing frames per
second is pretty much a requirement to be taken seriously by me. That this
tiny little future is missing is an obvious signal that the DEVELOPERS were
either IDIOTS or ****ED OFF or a bunch of fokking noobs.. that last part I
refused to believe... implementing an FPS shouldn't take long... it's about
5 lines of code or less... assuming that timing apis/code is available and
fonts... and that's basically it... not really that much of a big deal....
it's pretty much that easy... surely unreal engine 3 has timing information
and fonts... so it's highly unbelievable that it was too diffifcult to
implement or show... it's more like a delibrate attempt to frustate
people... is it perhaps a marketing strategy ?!?!? ANY PUBLICITY IS GOOD

12. The weapons are **** and don't do appriorate damage... some shotguns
should have been one-shot one-kills, sometimes marines die to fast,
sometimes aliens die to fast...

The whole experience is one big un-orchastrated mess... it's not clearly
thought out... it's not clearly tested and well balanced or played... it's
just a gigant big mess of unbalancy and just bad gameplay/bad weapon stats
balacing etc... I hope/think you get my drift... it's pretty fricking
blunt/obvious if you actually played it yourself... if you didnt noticed...
then congratulations you are now officially stamped as nnnnooob by me... but
that's ok... that's why I exist on this planet to help you out... I cannot
believe that anybody would have missed though... it takes 3 shots at least
from a bad-ass shotgun to kill an alien ?!?!?! HOLY FOKKING ****.... when
did you have to spent 3 shotgun shots on an alien in doom 1 huh ?
Can you imagine how much doom1 would have sucked it if took 3 shotgun shots
to kill every fokking alien ?! FOK THAT. (It can even be worse in ACM... 4
to 5 shots... it makes no sense). One last example: the FLASH gun... from
far away aliens can be 1 or 2 shotted, for up close even 30 shots dont kill
the fokking alien... at least that's how it feels like totally weird. I am
defending myself... not really... but I can imagine that perhaps people who
haven't played yet wonder about this... well there ya go a nice tiny little
explanation... I won't waste my time on explaning some other weapons... but
it's pretty fokked up... maybe I should... mines dont seem to do much
damage.. sometimes maybe... but it should be a 1 shot 1 kill thing... if a
claymore can kill an alien at once... then a promixty mine should as well me
thinks... this was how it was like in avp2 as well... anyway.. there is
something else annoying about the proxies... they are only trigged if the
alien walks exactly over them... sux... aliens can actually walk right
passed them.

I am doing developers a little bit of a favor describing this crap... I
really shouldn't... is there bloody job to do it right... so I will stop
right here... they can ask me if they really want to know... but then I
would require some credits in the title screen at the very least... perhaps
even payment for it lol...but I dont go that far... instead hire some decent
gamers/beta players out there... or listen closely to the "acm" community if
there is such a thing... I am sure there are many players who can tell you
about this fart-****-of-a-weapons/balacing.
Even the third person reviewers noticed it... perhaps the developers already
know it... and just didnt give a damn and it's all part of the ruining-plan.

13. One last remark... aliens should die slower, marines should die
slower... more balacing... more fun... more hand to hand combat would also
be fun... it's pretty obvious... but I thought it's worth to mention this in
a seperate point to make this clear.

14. What is really fokking annoying is the WALL HACKING on the alien side...
IT"S SO FOKKING ANNOYING... you can't really tell if you shooting at the
enemy or at a WALL that is IN FRONT of the enemy... Enemies always LIGHT
UP.... I have not yet figured out if there is a way to tell if they are
behind a wall or not ?!

This is a big OMMISION from the developers... THEY COULD have made it real
easy to tell... if they enemies where BEYIND a wall by for example making
them BLUE.... and making then green or RED if they were in front or
something ?! But this does not seem to be the case ? I could be wrong...

There is something else though... hurt enemies will turn yellow and finally
red... so those can be killed more easy...

The constant blinking/lightning up of enemies is just fricking annoying...
especially in combination with the WALL HACK=seeing through walls... it
ruins the game.

Why the developers tought it was easy/necessary to make the aliens look
through walls I dont know... did they think this was a way to balance the
game ?!? PRetty fokking hog-wash... I dont think AVP2 did this... and it's
not really necessary or maybe it was but I dont think so... this just sux
badly... and the green alien visor is also pretty annoying... it cannot be
turned off... it s fokky/annoying doesnt really add much to the game... it
could have been a special alien visor mode... but it would have been
appreciated if the level can be enjoyed in all it's glory even on the alien

All in all the game is not to bad to be honest... I have dissed this game
enough now... I have slapped some people silly enough now... it's time to
bring out the positive side of this game... which there is plenty off... IS


So now it is time to start with the enjoyment/the positive side of things,
and then maybe later some more negativity.

BEING CLAY like... FOKKING BS... yes maybe sometimes... PLEASE REMEMBER...
BISSHOP IS AN SYNTHETIC... he is not supposed to look human ! The other
characters are not bad... O NEAL IS ACTUALLY quite amazing... I suspect he
even looks like one of the developers.

HIS TATOES ARE PRETTY AWESOME. I have never seen that kind of detail ever
before in a game ! Perhaps it's you me... BUT THAT LEVEL OF DETAIL IS

A master piece of a TATOE... it will surely be enjoyed by TATOE lovers ! ;)


:) I think I even tweaked the game to try and speed out the 7900 gtx, then
I swapped gt 520, then I played, then I restored original settings and I was
like: "holy**** ?! is this the same level !?" It looked gorgious as I turned
on dynamic lightning which was the default... I am not actually sure if this
is what happened... it could also be that switching from aliens to marines
was what caused the shock effect... I suspect the game turns of the
lightning effects when in alien mode and replaces it with green gue... which
looks horrible really... when you go back to marines it look gorgious
again... I suspect this green gue/turning off lightning is done to speed up
the game so the aliens can run fast or so... just a suspicion.

That reminds me I have to complain about something else I will do so above.
at point 14.

4. Back to the goodness.. the SOUND IS LOVELY.... finally true sounding
pulse riffles ! ;) The screams of the aliens are not to bad ! ;) The voices
of the humans are funny.

Try pressing U once in a while for taunts ! ;) :)

5. Back to the graphics... THE MODELS ARE AWESOMELY DETAILED.... it's
fricking terrific... the aliens look good much better than avp2.

6. The network code is MUCH better... AVP2 used to have pings of 500... this
game goes as low as 80 maybe even 16. This is a big win ! ;) :) And will be
highly appreciated by online gamers/multiplayer gamers... and best of all
this was even tested on tunggle ?! which probably should add a little bit of
latency... but apperently not ?! well done on the networking part... which
can probably be contributed to the unreal engine 3.... so using this engine
did have some adventages.

I have seen some fokkers complain about the graphics versus the demo ?!?
Apperently there was a demo once... I saw the youtube comparison and I
thought the demo looked like ****... I like the final version much better
some I do not agree with that assement from those youtubers. FOK YOU GUYS
YOU SUCK. The final is much more colorfull than that greyish bull**** from
the demo... it was fokking depressing to look at... IF YOU WANT A DARK GAME
GO PLAY DOOM 3. Doom 3 NEVER AGAIN PLS... keep it colorfull...

I LOVED the colorfull look of ACM.... as far as I can tell there is nothing
wrong with it, it was gorgious. Even John Carmack can suck a point to it...
no disrespect.. I am sure he will appreciate and marvel at this game as

However perhaps the developers did fok up with some settings here and there
it's plausible seeing the mess this game is in... I am not a graphics
expert... perhaps the game could have looked even better... but I don;t
think so... this game already looks beautifull... so I stand by my ground
and say: There is nothing wrong with the graphics in this game.

I saw some bitches complain about "sprites" and "fire sprites" ?!? WTF is
that kind of criticm ? Where you expecting volumetric FIRE ?!? What kind of
nonsense ?!? There is nothing wrong with the fire sprites... it looks kinda
old school I LIKE IT.

This game does feel like OLD SKOOL shoot shoot shoot, I LIKE IT. That's
Perhaphs the flame sprites could have been blended a little bit better so it
appeared to be more part of it... but it was already blended... perhaps it
could have been a little bit more glowy... but all in all it was not to
bad... I have seeeen far worse fire effect in games... this fire effect was
ok-ish and definetly acceptable.

I have seen all kinds of other nonsense critism... like story not making too
much sense... a little bit valid... but still who cares about story
ultimately in a shooter ?
Also... some strange remarks about cutting people down... somehow that was
not done well enough ? really strange remarks here and there... I guess
everybody is entitled to there own critism... but I can't help but feel that
some of it is just drama and criticm because they want to just diss this
game... or make a bit drama out of it ?!

What's the big deal ?!?! This is just another shooter... it's not just
another shooter.. It's actually an ALIENS shooter... one of my favorite
themes... and I am really HAPPY that it got a make-over.

That's more or less how you should see this game:

sucky gameplay.

I did feel a little bit bad for all the ARTIST who put a lot of work and
effort into making this game a reality and making all those GREAT pieces of

One thing is for sure:


The developers/publishers/whoever is responsible for this bad
programming/gameplay have done A GREAT DISSERVICE to these ARTISTS...

The developers have DONE SOMETHING GREATLY SHAMEFULL.... it's shamefull to
all developers...


Perhaps there are reasons for it...

The BOTTOM LINE IS I am eventually GRATEFULL that this game was released
anyway.... because it's still somewhat ENJOYABLE.

And I have been wanting to see a proper graphical and sound wise remake of
this game for a long time now ! ;) Perhaps even as long as 10 years maybe
even more.

Graphics wise this game is ok/done/good.

Sound wise this game is ok/done/good.

The programming is not that bad... but it needs more tweaking/more time.

The game plays actually quite smooth.

The biggest gripe is with the balancing.


Perhaps not enough beta testing... perhaps fear of leaking the beta to the
public... whatever the cause may be... I can remember a demo of avp2 being
spread around to learn from it or so... though that demo was already pretty
good but probably needed tweaking as well...

Hopefully the developers will learn from their serious mistake... next time
do a proper beta test or a demo test... and listen carefully to players...
because this gameplay/balancing that the game currently has is just fokked
up big time... a big shame really because the game is actually quite good at
every other department... Small things ruin this game.

This can only mean one thing:

This game can still be saved somewhat... this game can still become a good
game... perhaps in a next version/release.... or perhaps even through
patches... or downloadable additions/content...

It would not be the first time that a ****ty game turns into a good game.
Civilization 3 Play the world comes to mind... it was ****... but the
conquest expension turned it into gold for me and many others.

Hopefully Aliens Colonial Marines can be SAVED by a GOLD edition... where
all the crap/balacing is fixed.

Finally a score must be given...

Graphically/sound wise/music wise this game simply gets a 10.... I could not
ask for me... gameplay was it gets a 3 to 4 to 5 depending on your milage my
vary... it's subpar compared to other shooters...

None the less.... ACM is the most fun shooter out there at the moment which
says something about the rest... COD bores me to death... battlefield is
boring... so at least ACM is refreshing.